Follow up to my 1st 2nd person POV

Hey Guys!

So a few semesters ago I took a creative writing class that I thought would be a fun class.  Well this semester I took the Graduate version of the class.  So one of the assignments was to choose a prompt and write a story based off of it.  I chose the prompt where you took a story that you already had and write it from a different perspective.  This one isn’t done in 2nd person rather in a round about 1st person and 3rd.

So for today’s post I thought I’d share one of my original stories with you to see what ya’ll think of it.

Alone… or not?

Libby watched from the shadows as the mysterious girl lay in the shadows of the abandoned building.  I’d been following her since she had escaped from the unlocked room.  I’m not sure that escape is the right word, either.  I mean the door wasn’t even locked, so maybe I should be saying since she left the room.  Libby didn’t know who the girl was.  Every now and then the girl would look around herself as if she knew she was being watched.  But I stayed in the shadows… it’s not like I was really afraid but instead I was being cautious of being seen.  As far as I’m aware we were the only ones who had been in the room, of course there could have been others that woke up before I did that could have left the room first.  But I hadn’t seen anyone since I’d woken up.

Looking around my own surroundings even as I watched and followed the other girl, I noticed the deepening grey sky and wondered if it was going to rain soon.  The atmosphere is dreary as you follow the girl around the deserted amusement park.  The air is cold and biting as we walk around.  I just keep following hoping that in the end the other girl can do what I myself had been unable to do.  Finding the way out.  It’s been hours since I had woken up, my emotions have run the gamut since I had woken up, from lonely and frightened to scared and resigned.

When I had finally turned around and gone back towards the building that housed the empty unlocked room determined to go back and wait with the other girl who had been in the room with me.  Instead, when I was just out of sight of the building I noticed the other girl leaving and rather than go up to her I had instead decided to follow her around.

I had yet to see if there were any others in this dark and abandoned placed.

Libby was beginning to feel despair deep into her core.  I didn’t think that I was ever going to make it out of here.  Should I go up to the other girl?

The surrounding area that I found myself in was dank and cold, nothing but concrete… no tile… no gravel… just cold and hard concrete.  The stone is pretty much the exact same color of the sky that had decided to opened up and pour down it’s anger on me.  It was strange really, not a piece of single concrete, but pieces of concrete almost cobble-like in its appearance.

“I wish I had some food,” I muttered to myself lowly.   So far, I had yet to find anything that even remotely resembled food or that I could eat.  Not that I had actually gone far enough away from the room that I had woken up in to find anything.

Looking back up I noticed that the other girl had approached a building that I myself had checked hours ago.  It bore a massive, large and wooden with an intricate design.  Kind of like it was pulled from some place from the distant past.  There were vines that decorated the top and bottom panels, and three center panels that each held a carving of an animal.  One held a wolf, another a bear, the last an eagle.  But it didn’t matter really because the door was still locked just like when I myself had checked it.

Libby, while still keeping an eye on the girl I was following also kept looking around at my surroundings.  The buildings, I noticed were old and discolored as if they had been faded and frozen in time.  On one side when I looked all that I saw there were stone walls, all painted in fading colors of blue, red and orange.  These buildings had spire looking towers and roofs.  Each held and opening that was sealed with massive wooden doors each one intricately decorated.

Looking back up I noticed the other girl was heading in a different direction and was already turning another corner.  Waiting a moment before following Libby finally caught up to within a few buildings of the other mysterious girl still keeping just out of the other girls sight.  She had found a building that was only partially closed to the elements.  This was new, I hadn’t made it to this side of the park when I had been wandering by herself hours and hours ago.  I’m not even sure that I would have wandered this far by myself if I wasn’t following the other girl.

Unfortunately, while I hadn’t been paying attention I hadn’t realized that there was broken pieces of wood all around me and I stepped on one of them making a noise, quickly before the other girl could turn around and notice me, I ducked behind the other building that I had just came from.  I waited there while I heard a loud shattering of something glass-like break, ‘what could that be?’ was my internal thought.  I was too worried about the other girl noticing me to even attempt to talk to myself out loud.

While I waited, I slid down the wall and peeked around the corner of the building.  I could see the other girl hitting a vending machine over and over making the hole that she had already created even larger.  The other girl had found some food.  ‘Thank god… I was wondering if I would be able to find anything to eat.’  Watching as she only grabbed a few things and then wedging herself into the small crawl space between the machine itself and the wall.  I waited for a long while before getting up and creeping closer to the other girl and the machine that had the food in it.  Making sure to looked down at my feet, I crept in between the pieces of glass that was on the ground just to make sure that I wouldn’t wake up the other girl that was still sleeping soundly.

After grabbing enough to keep herself going for a while, Libby carefully crept back to her own hiding space as quickly as she could without making any noise and waking up the other girl.  After getting back to my spot I opened up one of the cellophane bags that held some type of mixed chips.  After eating the entire bag and half of another one I could barely keep my eyes open.  Peeking around the building once again, Libby saw that the other girl was still sleeping soundly, and so decided that maybe sleep would be a good idea.  Looking up in the sky Libby notice that it is getting darker and darker out and that I was so tired, I hadn’t slept since I had woken up hours and hours ago.

It’s beginning to be morning when I woke up again, waking up this time wasn’t a slow awareness of time like it was the day before.  Instead it was more like a jerking sensation and a kind of weird one moment being asleep the next being awake in a panic.  Jumping up and peeking around the building that had hiding me from the other girl I squinted my eyes and relaxed slowly as I realized that the other girl was still there.  With a deep relieved breath, I turn and grab the bag of half eaten chips and eats slowly.  Grateful that I had grabbed enough yesterday, that I had enough to keep me fed for the day.  Looking around, I wasn’t sure if I wanted the other girl to wander around today and if she did if I should follow her.

I almost wished that the other girl stayed hidden in her little hideaway, but when I looked up again the other girl was beginning to gather up some supplies and start walking around again. ‘Damn… I guess I’ll have to get my stuff gathered as well.’  Looking around myself, I was kind of grateful that it had stopped raining sometime during the night.  At least my clothes were dry today, that was the one thing that I hadn’t been looking forward to, another long day of being wet and cold.

I wander around following behind the girl leaving just enough space between me and the other girl so that I wasn’t able to be seen.  It’s been hours since I had started following the girl today, the sun had moved from barely peeking up in the sky to being high up in the sky.  Suddenly, looking up at the sound of the other girl making noise I noticed her rushing up to a wall that I hadn’t noticed.  I didn’t remember that wall being there when I had wandered around by myself, but of course I hadn’t been this far from the building that I had woken up in the previous day.

I notice the other girl inwardly having a conversation with herself before seemingly coming to a decision.  Watching as the girl reaches forward and touches the wall.  The wall itself wasn’t that high.  Probably about the height of the girl maybe a little bit taller.  It was made of cinderblocks that were weathered and rough.

The girl once her decision was made, backed up and took a running leap at the wall.  The other girl was able to, with the leap that she had taken, reach the top of the wall and have her feet evenly placed enough that she didn’t slip back down.  The other girl kept going up reaching and climbing until she had first her elbows over the wall, then finally able to swing a leg up and over the other side of the wall.

I looked on sad as I watched the only other person that she had seen in the two days that I had been here, disappear over the wall.  Slowly… so slowly I edged myself towards the wall myself.  Looking around me, my eyes narrowed as they found what looked to be a piece of paper with something written on it.  Looking around and not seeing anyone that could have put it there, especially as I hadn’t seen the other girl do it.  Bending down and grabbing the paper up off the ground, I lifted it up and read the words that was written.


Don’t let them see you’re afraid!

With a gasp, I almost dropped it.  I knew that the other girl hadn’t seen this, and I also knew that the other girl hadn’t written it.  I was scared now.  Did I dare stay here?  Should I follow the other girl up and over the wall?  I didn’t know what to do.  ‘What the hell do I do now?  I’m not sure I should stay, but do I dare go and follow the other girl to the other side of the wall?’

The note alludes to the fact that I’m being watched at this very moment.  Not only does that scare me but it also pisses me off.  What kind of game are they playing that they not only kidnap me and another girl… but possibly other people before us, do something that takes away my memory of how I had gotten here, but also decide to spy on what I’m doing.  Is this some sort of weirdos’ sick fantasy?

With that my decision was made… “I guess I’m going over the wall.”  I told myself out loud.

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